Help! How can people be so nice? I almost feel ashamed by their ‘nicelyness’. They just told me: Now you have a family here. Boohoooh! I’m a little bit like the blueyed cat. Just leave the door open and I’m fine roaming. I’ll be coming back, you just never know when. This time I got a little lost. I found myself (totally messed up) in front of that door and I scratched until they let me in. They give me milk and stuff, treat me like a family member. And as soon as it’s time I’ll head off again.
I so so hope that the roaming doesn’t come to an end. Ever.
Gotta go and write my ass off.
PS: The seagull up there is thinking: “Hm, shall I buy that boat or not or what? Well no. I practically own that boat already.”
I´m feeling weird today. With every trip, my return to home becomes harder. I´d rather vanish into the air. Life is so light and carefree in the distance. Plus I am inspired by my very own surf instructor who doesn´t need anything else but the sea and his dogs. Jesus, that´s overkill. So I have to ask myself: Am I running away? Or is a “normal” life just not the right solution for me? Perhaps I have to become a hippie or a circus pony. And there we are again at the split of mind and heart´s decisions.
Actually this is rubbish, my life´s perfect. I had a blast and drinks from backstage at Mystery Jets´ concerts, I performed a side kick against a wave (and lost) and I made friends with cool people (and a bunch of mosquitos). I am thankful for that (unless the mosquitos)! All my doubts are just a quick flashlight of confusion.
PS: I can´t take any pictures cos both cameras don´t work. 😦
It´s exactly the right time to be in Berlin. The past weeks were horribly exhausting and directed by foreign forces. One second later and I would´ve exploded. One second earlier would just have missed. After the farewell I could finally breathe. On my way in the train the pressure passed by. Blurred like the landscape outside. It´s not really about the capital. I myself am the city that I´m entering. To explore it´s hidden corners, known but new. There´s no map and no plan, every movement is improvised. At every fork I have to decide once again, as there´s no routine to draw me. I can´t predict the outcome, because every step opens up another uncertainty, in which I might totally get lost. I´m looking forward to cafés, theatre, museums and a floating here and now. I observe, what only I can see. I recognise and feel what moves me. The silence makes me hear my own voice. And if anybody wants to spoil my mood, then it´s nobody but myself. I don´t need any sense, things happen, because I let them happen. That makes it the right thing. Mainly I can think. Think anyway and think what I want to think. And write.