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okay, let me tell you something: things fall apart. people get fired. projects get cancelled. such a thing just has happend to me due to the insolvency of Frankfurter Rundschau. which is not so bad, really, but my heart got kinda attached to that project. however, in these moments people tend to think ‘why me?’. but it’s not only you or me or her. it’s a whole company. no, it’s not only a company, it’s a sector. no, it’s not a sector, it’s sectors. it’s countries. it’s the world. sickening. the sentence ‘i thought, this would never happen to me’ is a pretty stupid excuse for something that is happening all over the place. open your eyes and be true. the earlier, the better.

we can’t stop the transformation (some call it the aquarian age). we can’t trust the big institutions, safeties, companies anymore. it’s o.v.e.r.. it is, as if fait is ripping our passions, our labels, our identifications off our skin to leave just the core, the inner selve as a pure rest.

sounds bad and weird, and i kept asking myself: how will people manage this? but actually: it’s good! i am the best example. which i am never normally, but in this case, i am.

in a painful way, step by step, i found out that things come and go. i don’t mean, i noticed it in an intellecutal way. i started to KNOW it from the heart very early. so i decided to become independent from circumstances in the outer world. i realized, there’s so much inside of me. like a fire burning and making me happy without anything else. so, after losing the fear, i developed it.

i always thought the fire was not a blessing but a curse. because i felt different. while other people were talking about fashion, jobs, relationships (of course, i love those conversations as well), sometimes i was at a different place. sometimes i thought, i was a bit weird, bohooh, spooky and stuff. but still: i developed things and beliefs out of the fire. it manifested e.g. in dance, writing, singing and a really strong vision.

now i know, the fire, the things and authentic beliefs i made all on my own, will never leave me. they are my core. no crisis, no storm, nothing can destroy them. and actually, i don’t need anything else in any place. it feels so good to be safe and home within myself. i am free and independend from the outer drama, like a rock with a fire inside. and my development is still not ready yet.

you can only realize this through crisis. perhaps – i don’t know it – perhaps this is the reason for all thoses disasters around the world. but at least, it’s the only way for an individual to survive and evolve happily without the ever constant fear. so don’t be afraid of what might happen. find and stick to your inner fire, even more when you lose things. remember:
greatness can only and only come from yourself. anything else comes and goes, it washes over our lifes like waves.
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plus, who cares about our tiny problems in our industrial society? guys, hang in there in israel, syriah and around the globe!
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anybody wanna be stupid?

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//can’t watch my step, there’s nothing in particular left, the only reference i have is silence//any thought offers a route, no I’m afraid to lose my directions to chose in the silence//don’t hold me, i’m drifting, come with me, we’re shifting, just please be okay with the free fall//don’t wanna leave, don’t wanna stay, reality blown away, the only true message i gain is silence//something’s happening to me and my tense boundaries, keep on holding deeply to my silence//don’t hold me i’m drifting, believe me, we’re shifting, just please be okay with the free fall//

float internally//communicate externally//shake it off, push it, spin, jump, scream//become easy and rhythmical//stand still, be quiet//and wait for the light to come and be played like a glowing ball//turn it into stars, into a stream, let it rain on you and breathe it in to make you filled with freedom and spirit//

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we are here
and we’re real
mother earth
meets our needs
we’re immersed
in abundance
within our bodies
and their energy.

//
we are here
and we’re free
our rebirth
is indeed
we immerged
in a sundance
through a spell
and its frequency.

//

thought i knew any cell of my dna. good instincts, free thinking and with a whole lot of antennas. then, on day zero, we and i took another turn. little tickling on third eye. scratching, pushing, a constant sensation. hands burning, pressure on chest, ears, nose. a crawling and teasing between the shoulder blades. no, i’m not scared. i trust you. keep on going when i fall. and we fall. into nothingness. energy rushing through our limbs. pulsing, vibrating like an earthquake. sleepless nights. don’t make any sound ‘out there’, it hurts. with every cracking, an electric shock showers our skin. countless sensations conquering the physical world. ajna, sahasrara opened wide. no, i’m not scared. otherwise i’d go insane. or explode right away. instead: i trust you. keep on going when i’m awake. what else there is? all our lives searching. we knew, this was not it. it just wasn’t. more afraid of a life in a box than of vanishing. now we get to know ourselves from a totally different point of view. now something gave us the magic paint to paint reality like a peace of art. and manifest. a new awareness like somebody has turned on the light. a fusion of mind, soul, body. a deep inner peace, freedom, love. we lose ourselves in our own infinite room. where the bodies, the universe, mother earth are all one. we listen to our our own infinite sound. a higher frequenzy which seems powerful enough to create a milky way. excitement like being in love. not only trusting. knowing. and every day comes with another gift. we have begun a journey. and we’ll be never coming back.
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thankful.