Imagine yourself having it all. A great job at a TV-Channel, enough time and money for exciting hobbies, a nice and cozy apartment and a gorgeous caring boyfriend. Plus the omnipresent feeling of: What the fuck is wrong?
I´m talking about a friend who I met on Sunday to discuss world and life. This evening, her example verified my assumption, that there´s always SOMEthing. And I´m telling you: Be glad when you can´t even define a REAL problem.
So what the hell is the problem?
We realise our dissatisfaction especially when we run into people who lead a totally different life. Towards one girl we might think „damn, she has this save job she can count on.“ Or „this totally not talented guy has founded a band and celebrates a huge success out of nothing“. Or „she has a baby, and what about me?“
The funny thing is, that the „others“ might feel likewise. I long for a piece of their safety, they crave my freedom. I feel slightly jealous about their regularity which seems to make it all easy, while they might say „it´s not that easy, we´d love to have a vision as you have“. I´m scared; they´re bored. But why is it mainly „the others“ that make us feel bad about our lives?
Is it ordinary jealousy?
Although social theories teach us, that mankind indeed is driven by jealousy, in this case, at our age, another reason has to take place. Me and my generation are at a point in life, where we have made a few decisions already. We have chosen a job, a direction, a value system or – at least – an identity.
So what, if the decisions were wrong?
The „others“ show us, that there are plenty more life options out there. They present us the flight attendant who travels the world, the doctor who saves lives or the artist who doesn´t give a shit whatsoever. We realise, we could not only live a different life, we could actually be someone else. So know what? Change it all now? As we´re at the peak of our life, this could be the final real life decision. And we start to wonder: What if I´m just missing out one of these great perfect options that could make me „have it all“?
The right to choose: friend or foe?
1. Okay, first of all: Don´t panic. Life is still long enough to make pleeeenty of wrong decisions.
2. There is not such a „having it all“. It´s not possible, as one open door always closes another one. Pretty often it´s just a matter of appreciation. Is the situation you´re in right now so bad really?
3. If it IS bad, do a check list: What REALLY holds you back from turning the steering wheel? Is it the notion, this could just be a brief attack? Or is it money, laziness, the lack of courage or the „what will my friends say?“-struggle?
4. The right to choose is still a privilege. There´s lots of people who can´t choose and who would love to change their situation. Plus, the above mentioned appreciation comes quite often with the knowledge that nobody else has chosen but you. So what a shame, if youself are the one who´s in your way.
5. I´m always a friend of – sounds cheesy, I know – listening to the heart. Do you really wanna end up as an old mad piece of grumble who didn´t listen to the heart? No way, you gotta do something.
As a teacher told my friend, who´s catching up on school right now (yes, Lars, I´m talking about you): If everybody was the way you are, the world would be a better place. So there.
What if all that change also turns out to be wrong?
Oh come on, don´t overdo it: MOVE YOUR BUTT AND GET GOING!
(I guess, this is one thing my book will be about. Perhaps it will be relevant to my generation. At least it looks veeeery relevant on my notes, doesn´t it? What the hell was I writing? Wohoo, getting a little crazy in there …)
Edit: By the way, Amy&Pink is having a similar discussion. Nice on.e Good to know that this hassle already starts after school, dammit.