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du bist eine welt für mich
kristall-glitzernd und neu
stehst still und bewegst dich für immer nicht
wartest mit offenen armen deutlich
dass ich komme herein.
aber wie erreiche ich dich?

zwei schritte nur in deine rich…
…tung und du wirkst mir scheu
weichst aus und verschwindest im schönen licht
erst deine ferne gewährt mir sicht
zerreißt mir mark und bein.
du bist nur eine welt für mich

(About something we yearn for.
It is glistening and new.
It seems to be awaiting us with wide open arms.
But as soon as we step towards it, it slips away.
Out of reach.
We can only see it clearly from the distance.)

I tried the Salsa thing in Bairro Alto. My camera didn’t work so I had to use my pen. I had about 10 seconds to scribble the guys, as I just couldn’t say: “Don’t move!” Or hit the ‘time stop button’. Unfortunately.

PS: That’s my last post about this country, dammit. Onetime you gotta say goodbye.

“I am jealous. I am also chased by the thought of breaking out right now. But whereto?”

“Yes, I am unbelievably happy here. Within three days I found everything I was looking for. But I’m also struggeling with turnoffs. Exactly because it’s too good.

Breaking out, right. My yearning for freedom is so strong, it hurts. I can tell you so much what I have found out about this romantic idea: The dilemma is, it will make you addicted. It doesn’t last forever as every break out will become normality one day. How can one stand this?

The clue seems to be – to avoid the addiction – to learn how to find luck in the everyday life. Most important for that are you, my dear friends, who give me the best moments in life. This huge present is what I always remind myself of.

I can provide the everyday with tiny little break-outs to feel not too locked up. Dance, do sports, chat to unknown people, visit a concert on my own, arts in any way. And life, life, life.

And I have to take my visions back home and keep fighting every day for what I believe in. Sounds cheesy, but it’s the only safe way to freedom we can go, as you can’t do anything wrong about it. This doesn’t have to be a revolutionary thing, to some it’s the family, to others the career, the next one just wants money. To me it’s art for example. (Plus the rescue of mankind and of the tiniest mouse on earth, but that’s another story).

Hang in there,

Lena”

(An e-Mail-conversation with friends I had yesterday.)

Normally I don’t like to repost pictures with written wisdoms cos they’re mainly cheesy. But these are exceptionally wonderful: I have stumbled over them on Gorgeous Patricia’s Blog – a new blogging friend from Portugal. And I love them because they suit so well. Especially the last last one is so true, I almost cried.

Oh, and if you don’t have enough time, turn off the TV. And the internet!

I’m off to the beach, have a nice weekend!
Lena

I´m feeling weird today. With every trip, my return to home becomes harder. I´d rather vanish into the air. Life is so light and carefree in the distance. Plus I am inspired by my very own surf instructor who doesn´t need anything else but the sea and his dogs. Jesus, that´s overkill. So I have to ask myself: Am I running away? Or is a “normal” life just not the right solution for me? Perhaps I have to become a hippie or a circus pony. And there we are again at the split of mind and heart´s decisions.

Actually this is rubbish, my life´s perfect. I had a blast and drinks from backstage at Mystery Jets´ concerts, I performed a side kick against a wave (and lost) and I made friends with cool people (and a bunch of mosquitos). I am thankful for that (unless the mosquitos)! All my doubts are just a quick flashlight of confusion.

PS: I can´t take any pictures cos both cameras don´t work. 😦

… is one damn cool trip. In 20 years I will remember today and tell myself that this was paradise.

MEIN LEBEN
… ist ein einziger saucooler Film. In 20 Jahren werde ich an Heute zurückdenken und mir sagen, dass das das Paradies war.

We love love love the other half of the 24 hrs.
When sun goes down it withtakes the outerworld.
The worldly templates
crawl under the blankets with the people´s voices.
Now that reality is sleeping,
what´s it all about?
We can´t see the street signs anyway.
We don´t want to go straight anymore.
We can go left, no right. No left AND right,
draw curvy lines and stirring loops.
until we reach the woods.
Here in the blurry black
we discard our coats and slip in our current bodies.
We choose
the pixie, the bear, the lion, the circus pony.
to dance and fly and whirl with the wind,
And we loose
the past, the future and our – so called – selves
to flow just with what happens next.
We are the purest we
that could ever be.

Sometime the sun peeps over the horizone,
and the first voice resounds
like a wake-up-call for ordinariness.
As soon as the next 24 hrs begin
it´s all gone.
Wiped away by the everyday eraser.
And we forget about our – so felt – selves again.

The only thing that makes us wonder
is a leaf that sticks to the sole of our shoe.

So which two halves of the 24 hrs is reality?

My first night sitting in the garden. Shadow play. Black leaves canvas the windows of the neighbour´s houses, painting ornaments on the lights behind. A shelter. Surrounding me like a patchwork quilt. Doesn´t warm me, but isolates me from the people around. Protects me. Stays there, constantly, even when I´m gone. Waits for me to come back and to snuggle down in this black bed. Thanks, you trees. I´ll get back to you.

PS: I´ll write my ass off. I swear.

What is it that everybody behaves strangely right now? People can´t concentrate, are crazy about love, couples lying all night long under the sky not caring about the outer world (and the not comfortable conditions of lying on the floor). People are actually friendly (!). They go out and party hard, walk barefoot, shop as if there was no Tomorrow, stick together with their friends. Their outfits go pretty much close to naked. And what about me? I feel as if I was in love, jittery as if I had a huge show coming up. run around totally confused, talk stupid shit, drop everything. But nothing can destroy the basic good mood. So what is wrong with us? Did they put something in the water that we have to drink in the heat? Or did we find the world conquering formula of inner peace and happiness? Hm. Well, I guess it´s just summer. Damn, we´re so ordinary.